It's funny how certain situations find you reflecting inwardly, isn't it? For instance, in the past month, I've been laid off and enjoying unemployment while my new job gets up and running, we're in the groove toward closing on our first house, and we've started back to church. It's quite a batch of experiences to work with, right?
Well, as I've interacted with each one of these areas, I've noticed within myself what I'm certain is a not so unique trait, and that is my latent materialism. Now, I'm not one who's particularly attached to things. Like, I don't believe that my life would be over if some of my books were lost or if I couldn't get that movie right away. In fact, unemployment has made me test these theories, with stuff like season five of The Office hitting stores as well as today's release of X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Now, as much as I'd have liked to, I didn't hit the stores for my copies of these because it wasn't wise.
And as I've had this downtime of unemployment/waiting, I've taken the opportunity to do some packing, some rummaging through things, and have actually been fine getting rid of some things, of trashing some and giving others away. If it's of no use or interest to me, I don't need it. And one thing our last move showed us was that removing any and all clutter is a good thing. It's liberating to have less in some respects, for it opens up the doorways to a freedom of thought and ease. Good things both.
But, I don't know what it is, whether it's idle times while I wait, boredom, or a lack of faith, or simply pure greed, but I keep finding myself longing for that next thing. Just this morning I was perusing emusic (a great site for music lovers, well worth the investment) and found myself looking for more music to add to my collection. But the problem is, it was adding the albums to my 'saved' file so I could reference back to them later when I had the opportunity/credits to download them. It's a neverending battle!
The same is true of my on again, off again relationship with my Amazon wishlist. What began as a honest attempt to help folks out wondering what to get me for Christmas and birthdays has also now become my den of avarice. I can simply spend way more time than I should bouncing from one thing to another, wishing and wanting. And they're good things that I want, for sure, but do I really need them?
And there's the rub in the ointment. Because the answer, of course, is a resounding "no." Do I want them? Sure! But need is another story. It's so easy to forget how blessed we are. I'm sitting here typing this random personal blah-blah-blah on a laptop that was given to us, connected to the Internet whereby I can access tons and tons of information, sitting in an air conditioned house with a fridge and cupboard full of goodies and a supermarket just down the road and money in the bank (albeit not as much as I'd prefer) to buy those items in a pinch. I have a television, a Playstation 2 (and yes, I'm still longing for a PS3 and their dropping the price this month definitely upped my materialism ante) with tons of games, satellite television, a desktop computer, and more music and movies than I know what to do with.
Even more important, I'm married to an amazing woman, one who loves me and cares for me like no other. I have two beautiful children who, while being precocious and challenging, bring me more joy than I could have ever thought possible. I'm blessed with great parents and in-laws, and as my experience with Facebook has reminded me, a plethora of friends that are easy to forget sometimes but are so real and great.
And yet I long for more. I long for more possessions, more (I should say any) fame, more this and more that. And why? It'd be easy to say that I don't know, that I don't really understand these inner working of my mind and it's subconscious and, while that's true to a point, it's also not entirely accurate either. I think the simple truth is that, as much as I desire to, I don't find contentment in the places where I really should find contentment. I need to be reminded of the love and the relationship that is mine in Jesus. I need to be reminded of the love and relationship that is mine in my family. I need to be reminded to be thankful and to do so through my giving.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Spending Some Time at 'The Shack'
Recently, I finally got down to reading The Shack. For the unititiated, The Shack is a Christian novel written about a man whose daughter is kidnapped and murdered. After some time, he finds himself drawn back to the last place where she was known to be, the shack, and he meets up with God in a way that he would never have imagined. The book made the New York Times bestsellers as well as ignited a flurry of controversy, with many taking offense at some of the books theological thoughts as well as plot devices. In short, it's a book that lots of people seemed to flock to and that got a lot of conversation, good and bad, going. The popularity kept me from it for a time but unemployment and time opened up the door and I finally got it read.
Let me first say that I'm sure that some of my more theologically astute friends and brethren will take me to task here but I really didn't have many issues with the book as a whole. It's not War and Peace by any means but it does possess a compelling story and some keen perceptions on both life and faith. I personally really enjoyed the concepts of God appearing in three persons to the chief character and especially enjoyed the appearance of God the Father initially as a saucy African-American woman. Likewise, I really enjoyed the assertions that Jesus was not a "Christian." That's something that will certainly cause some eyebrows to raise but when we think about it, He really wasn't. There's so much that I could elaborate on there but, I just won't...
I guess the thing that hit me the most with The Shack was the idea that God really does love us. I know that's the most simple of truths and is the one that we're supposed to really learn early on but for myself, as I've gotten older, it's also the one that's harder to believe. I guess with age, experience, and failure after failure, big or small. the love of Christ is something that we consciously know but don't always believe. The Shack offers up a different perspective on that, showing a God who does love us, who does care for us, and even weeps with us in our sorrow. It's nothing terribly original but I can certainly see why folks have gravitated toward it.
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Transitions
I've never been the best at life transitions. In some ways, I've been able to roll with the punches and counter pretty successfully. In others, it's almost as if I have a tendency to retreat within myself, either scared of the next step or simply trying to protect myself from the pain of the break. I'm not really sure but it's something I've noticed.
I'm in the midst of a transition right now in my life, right in the midst as a matter of fact, as my job of nearly ten years has come to a close on this day. It's not been a perfect job but it's been an interesting one, providing me with food for thought, great friendships, and flexibility that was much needed during that season. I'm sad to see this chapter come to a close, in some respects, but am also pretty excited to see what the next season will hold. My only fear is that, as in some times in the past, I retreat instead of marching forward.
In the meantime, here's to you, all my Living Word cohorts, past, present, and perhaps future. It's been an adventure!
I'm in the midst of a transition right now in my life, right in the midst as a matter of fact, as my job of nearly ten years has come to a close on this day. It's not been a perfect job but it's been an interesting one, providing me with food for thought, great friendships, and flexibility that was much needed during that season. I'm sad to see this chapter come to a close, in some respects, but am also pretty excited to see what the next season will hold. My only fear is that, as in some times in the past, I retreat instead of marching forward.
In the meantime, here's to you, all my Living Word cohorts, past, present, and perhaps future. It's been an adventure!
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Kung Fu Kitchen
This is the conversation Tyler and I had last night as I was preparing dinner:
Tyler: Dad, what kind of rice are you making?
Me: Chinese rice.
Tyler: What's in Chinese rice?
Me: Carrots, onions, celery, ginger, garlic, chicken...
Tyler: No, no, no...That's not right!
Me: What?
Tyler: Jackie Chan only has white rice. That's Chinese rice...
So maybe I introduced the kung fu movie a tad soon...
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Disagreeing With Tozer
The great pastor/preacher A.W. Tozer has always been a great source of inspiration for me. From my first discovery of his little pamphlet, How To Be Filled With the Holy Spirit, I was hooked. That led me to other gems of his, most notably his most famous book, The Pursuit of God, and a few others. Plus, it also lead me to some of his fellow contemporaries like Dr. Leonard Ravenhill, who was just as compelling and hardcore as Tozer himself.
So, recently, when my friend offered me a chance to read another Tozer gem, I gladly accepted. The book was Tozer on Worship and Entertainment and it sounded right up my alley, the good culture seeking child that I am. And Tozer didn't disappoint. He doesn't mince words, calling out perceived evils, sins, and gaps wherever they stand. He's old school and calls it as he sees it. And that's something I appreciate, and particularly that Tozer doesn't come across as an uneducated slob either. He's well spoken and convincing.
But...
You knew it was coming didn't you? Some of Tozer's thoughts this time out definitely cause me to pause and, well, frankly, disagree. He makes some solid challenges to the Church, calling out issues of performance that have slipped into our worship which are certainly pertinent to this day. Those issues I have no problem with. Yet, when he turns to the believer's interaction with culture, with the movies and music of the world, that's where we've got to part ways.
For sure, the interaction of faith and culture has always been a dicey, contentious area. And there are surely elements wherein we've fully dropped the ball. But Tozer takes to task the idea of "story" and I really have to disagree with him there. Tozer contends that the idea of story takes away from the Gospel itself, from the teachings of the Bible. He believes that the parishioners are more interested in hearing a good story as opposed to his hard-edged truth. And he's right and I agree. Yet, I can't believe that detracts from the beauty and the need for stories.
Consider our own Bible. Essentially, the Bible is just that, a collection of stories. It's the tale of God's interaction and overarching love for His creation, as they rise and fall and rise again, all due to His grace. And these stories encourage us, they challenge us, and in many cases, they convict us, leading us to salvation. And it's near impossible to detract from the truth that Jesus Himself utilized the power of story as a key to his own teaching. Clearly, story has a place in the life of the believer.
So, recently, when my friend offered me a chance to read another Tozer gem, I gladly accepted. The book was Tozer on Worship and Entertainment and it sounded right up my alley, the good culture seeking child that I am. And Tozer didn't disappoint. He doesn't mince words, calling out perceived evils, sins, and gaps wherever they stand. He's old school and calls it as he sees it. And that's something I appreciate, and particularly that Tozer doesn't come across as an uneducated slob either. He's well spoken and convincing.
But...
You knew it was coming didn't you? Some of Tozer's thoughts this time out definitely cause me to pause and, well, frankly, disagree. He makes some solid challenges to the Church, calling out issues of performance that have slipped into our worship which are certainly pertinent to this day. Those issues I have no problem with. Yet, when he turns to the believer's interaction with culture, with the movies and music of the world, that's where we've got to part ways.
For sure, the interaction of faith and culture has always been a dicey, contentious area. And there are surely elements wherein we've fully dropped the ball. But Tozer takes to task the idea of "story" and I really have to disagree with him there. Tozer contends that the idea of story takes away from the Gospel itself, from the teachings of the Bible. He believes that the parishioners are more interested in hearing a good story as opposed to his hard-edged truth. And he's right and I agree. Yet, I can't believe that detracts from the beauty and the need for stories.
Consider our own Bible. Essentially, the Bible is just that, a collection of stories. It's the tale of God's interaction and overarching love for His creation, as they rise and fall and rise again, all due to His grace. And these stories encourage us, they challenge us, and in many cases, they convict us, leading us to salvation. And it's near impossible to detract from the truth that Jesus Himself utilized the power of story as a key to his own teaching. Clearly, story has a place in the life of the believer.
Stories draw us in. Stories challenge us. Stories invite us. We need the power of story.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
Gold on the Horizon
For whatever reason, save for a small window during my late teens when, well, I think we all made every attempt to sleep until 11AM, I've pretty much always been an early riser. This is never more true than the few and far between times when I get to go camping. I usually awake curled up in a ball and lay for a few minutes, relishing the warmth of my sleeping bag against the cool dew beaded up on the outside of the tent. My eyes adjust and I reach for the zipper and step outside into the cool morning air.
Once I've restoked the fire, a really cathartic process in camping for me, I sit down and just listen and experience. It's so quiet, so very quiet, with just the gentle sounds of nature awakening around, the crackle of the fire, and the yawning of the early morning. And this time is one of my favorite of all, as, off along the horizon, a gentle glow begins to emanate, shrugging off the inky black night and eventually morphs into these golden rays of sunshine that emerge and blossom into the day. It's one of the most beautiful times of day for me.
I say all that to share that I feel like the night of my life, so to speak, is reaching another dawn. For some time, I feel like I've been in the dark of night, with the night sounds and little but a dying fire to keep me going. Yet now I feel as though the first rays of dawn are peeking out from the horizon, casting their ethereal gaze onto the canvas of my life. For whatever reason, I feel as though the doors are finally opening to something new, something beautiful, and something redeeming.
So, I'm back to blogging. For some time there I was religious about it, much like the way some are with their Facebook or Twitter now, but life just didn't seem worth blogging after a while. But I think that that time has passed and that it's safe for me to once again take up the pen, er, keyboard, and start writing again. Friends, family, and newcomers alike, please understand, you won't always like what I have to say or, dare I say, the way I say it, but this is just me being real and honest and open and growing and learning and all of that. If you want to journey along with me, please come along.
Once I've restoked the fire, a really cathartic process in camping for me, I sit down and just listen and experience. It's so quiet, so very quiet, with just the gentle sounds of nature awakening around, the crackle of the fire, and the yawning of the early morning. And this time is one of my favorite of all, as, off along the horizon, a gentle glow begins to emanate, shrugging off the inky black night and eventually morphs into these golden rays of sunshine that emerge and blossom into the day. It's one of the most beautiful times of day for me.
I say all that to share that I feel like the night of my life, so to speak, is reaching another dawn. For some time, I feel like I've been in the dark of night, with the night sounds and little but a dying fire to keep me going. Yet now I feel as though the first rays of dawn are peeking out from the horizon, casting their ethereal gaze onto the canvas of my life. For whatever reason, I feel as though the doors are finally opening to something new, something beautiful, and something redeeming.
So, I'm back to blogging. For some time there I was religious about it, much like the way some are with their Facebook or Twitter now, but life just didn't seem worth blogging after a while. But I think that that time has passed and that it's safe for me to once again take up the pen, er, keyboard, and start writing again. Friends, family, and newcomers alike, please understand, you won't always like what I have to say or, dare I say, the way I say it, but this is just me being real and honest and open and growing and learning and all of that. If you want to journey along with me, please come along.
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